https://brendatheavenger.wordpress.com My official blog

Please follow me there.  Finally found my focus and purpose.  Pass it on to anyone you know that my need some support or references to ways to get help.

Tour Through Blogland!

Let's take a tour today!!  Thanks to one of my dearest friends, Hot Mess Princess (HMP), author of Hot Mess Princess, I am writing this post today.  I borrowed her picture for my post. :)

Let me start by saying that Dianne is a great source of inspiration to me, and one of the few people I can say I feel safe around.  As she said in her post, I am "a work in progress!"  Yes, I was the driver in the 2013 DFW Penis Expedition....  I laughed so hard during that trip I think I pulled a muscle.

Another of HMP's posts I love, because we worked on it together, is 50 Awesome Things To Do Before 50.   Seriously, it is harder than you would think to come up with 50 things to put on the list, never mind complete them.  I will say I am not going to be able to finish my list, since I turn 50 on the 16th.  Yes, Thursday I turn 50.  I am so proud of Dianne and I hope she completes her list.

This HMP post is one of my favorites just because of the title!!   There's Too Much Hair Down There.  You are going to have to read it to find out what the story is.  Be brave my friends!! 

I have to say HMP is so funny, honest, loving and the best friend a girl could have.  Now I will answer the list of questions for the tour.

Question 1: What am I working on right now?

Well, I am working on myself.  I have come to the realization, in the past few weeks, that I once again have to ask for help.  I HATE asking for help.  I wrote a post on shame and really that is where I need work.  I had to face the hard fact that I have an eating disorder and I can't fix it on my own.  So at 50 I get to start a new journey and I plan on blogging my way through it.  I want women to know that no matter their addiction, there IS hope and there IS a way through to happiness.  If my journey helps save even one woman's life, this journey is worth it, even if it is only my own.  I AM WORTH IT!!

Question 2: How does my game differ from other's in the same genre? 

I am not even sure where I fall in the "genre".  I tend to be all over the place and just write from the heart.  I'm very new at this and am still not sure if I will ever hone in on one topic.

Question 3: Why do I create/write what I do?

My blog is simply to share my experience, strength and HOPE with any reader that happens by.   What I post is from my heart.  I want to express my gratitude for the blessings I have received.  I what to give hope to anyone that feels lost and alone.  There is a place on the other side of tough things, where there is peace,  I have a very long list of tough things that I have walked through, and I imagine there are even more coming, but I know that on the other side there is peace, strength and a better me.

Question 4:  How does my creative writing process work?

Am I supposed to have a process?  Maybe that's part of my problem.  I basically do a "data dump" on to the page and then I try and clean it up for public consumption.  When I feel the need to share my experience I do, but as you can see I have not been in a place to share anything in a while.  I struggle trying to find a balance between being courageous and TMI.

The Q&A is over.  I am so happy to introduce Brittany.  I have been following her blog for a while.  I subscribe to her blog tips.  I tend to fall in the "common mistakes new bloggers make" side of things, but that's ok.  I am always willing to learn.  Brittney's blog is brittanybullen.com.

I knew I was going to love her blog the minute I saw her video on her "About" tab "Want to hear a song I wrote?"  I love it!  It made me smile.  She won me over right then and there.

8 Things I Can't Live Without...  I actually only have one of those things, Amazon Prime, but she is right...I can't live without it!!  Well, maybe I could, but why!!??

This could have come in handy a number of years ago, 26 Semi-Hilarious Marriage Tips.  It is a very fun and informative read.

Finally, How to Do It All (and Not Go Insane), my favorite is "Know when to quit".

Brittney's blog is a must read!!  Check it out.  Leave her some comment love!!  I hope you visit me again soon!!

I love y'all!

Brenda

More 50 before 50...

The count down is down to 73 days:

#5.  This one is a process.  I submitted my application to volunteering at Hope's Door.  This Is an amazing organization that helps women and children get out of homes where there is domestic abuse.  This is very near and dear to my heart because I have experience in this area.  I have finally gotten through to the other side  of the aftermath of living that way for 16 years.  I had to be in a place within myself where I could give these women hope that they can have a different life.  I left that situation in 2002, but was only able to start healing emotionally in 2010.  I am now in a place where I no longer hold resentments, but I hold forgiveness.  I have wanted to help other's in this area, but you can not give what you do not have.

Also, knowing what abuse IS is very important, it not only physical, it is psychological and emotional abuse, it is verbal abuse, it is being controlled by another person.  Yes, men can be victims also, but my experience is as a woman, so that is all I can speak to.

The Mary Kay Foundation has compact mirrors that include a list of signs of abuse and inside is a card that has a number you can text if you are in danger.  If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship please email me at oneawesomebrenda@marykay.com and I will be happy to send you a mirror and information.

 In my case the abuse began as verbal and emotional abuse, then grew into more controlling behaviors.  These felt normal to me because I had grown up watching this.  In my experience, these grow into physical threats and then into actual violence.  I left at one point, but did not have a support system and went back.  This was my greatest mistake, he was nice for a while.  As I became stronger he got more and more aggressive.  One day I knew that if I didn't leave then one day I wouldn't be able to leave.

I won't go into the why's that I stayed for 16 years, but I will say that I had to go through it to be who I am today.  I am a beautiful, confident, survivor, who has forgiven and is learning to love again.

#6.  I have ordered a Mosaic kit and will have my mosaic project completed this week!!  I can't wait!  I will post pictures when it is complete.

#7.  I am meeting with my fitness and nutrition consultant.  We will be walking and talking.  I am going to see if she would like to do a weekly or monthly post on my blog!!  Anne is so amazing, I hope she wants to!!

#8 Random Act of Kindness:  My favorite is picking up the order for the person behind me.  I gave a $20 to the manager that runs the drive-thru at Starbucks near work and asked to pay for as many orders as she could with it.  She said she was only giving it to the nice people.  LOL.

#9  I completed a painting last night, but my apartment complex is having a cookies and paint class on the 29th, which will count as my class.  Here is what I did last night as my creative outlet.

#10 Compliment a stranger!  I love this, because just the most simple act can turn someone's day around.  To look someone you don't know in the eye and say "You are beautiful! I hope you have a great day." and then move on.  She smiled and stood a little taller.  What a great thing to see.

Only 40 left!!  The list is being modified slightly, due to a shoulder injury and financial restraints.

3 More Down

Good Morning!  My Saturday was filled with first the anxiety of putting on a bathing suit for the first time in many years.  Even though It looked flattering I was not ready to go to a class in it. I wore it all day, like I was getting to know an old friend.

My brain remembers wearing a little string bikini...at 49 it's a tankini with a skirt.  I have moved into acceptance, but it was a tough step.

 
Being around other people in a bathing suit will be a huge step for me.  I am a stronger person and love myself so  much more than ever before, but can I handle someone saying something mean?  I don't know.

So instead I got my finances together and addressed making sure my 401K is adequate for retirement.  If anyone has used the tools to estimate what you need to retire you may have noticed the same things I did.

1. They only expect you to live 20 years beyond retirement.  Based on my family history we could live into our hundreds.
2. They are estimating that 37% of your retirement income is coming from Social Security.  I would love to believe that little fantasy, but I am not sure anyone in our government knows how to make that happen for my retirement.  I just can't count on it.
3. They are estimating a 3% inflation rate, but I think the true inflation rate is more like 5 to  6 percent.

So I have come to the conclusion that I will be working long past normal retirement age and aiming to live very modestly, no debt, only basic living expenses and enough fun money for one big trip a year.

I will say that my company is very generous with the retirement plan, If I put in 6% the total contribution annually is 14% with their contributions.  I have a long way to go to be ready to retire, but I will probably always have some kind of business going so the brain will stay sharp and additional income will still come in.

Finally, I wrote a poem for the first time in many, many years:

A Deep Sense

When we meet there is a deep sense of safety,

a knowing that I am safe.

When our eyes connect there is a deep sense of acceptance,

a knowing that we are worthy of each others love. 

When we talk there is a deep sense of honesty, raw communication,

a knowing that we can trust each other.

When we walk, our fingers intertwined, there is a deep sense that silence is comfortable,

a knowing that our souls are talking in the silence.

When we hug there is a deep sense that going slow feels right,

a knowing that rushing is not a better way to go.

I believe this and when I meet this man, God will give me that deep sense,

a knowing that this man is a GIFT.

#1 of 50 and 96 days to go

Sunday I took one item off my list!  I was originally going to use my bottle cutter thingy to cut some beer bottles and wine bottles into glasses and containers to make candles in, but I can't get it to work.

So instead I broke out the paints and painted one of the bottles.

I am not sure I am done with it, but I like it so far.

This weekend is bike riding, yoga, zumba and poetry!! Stay tuned!!

50 Things I will do before I turn 50

Hello my friends!

I finally finished my Corporate Taxation course and re-entered the world of the normal.. I am reclaiming my creative mind and happy life!!  For my first post in July I am counting down to my 50th birthday...101 days away.  I have made a list of 50 things I am going to do before I turn 50.

1. Attend each of the free exercise classes offered at my apartment complex. (Maybe one will stick?!)
2. Go Kayaking
3. Take a dance class
   
   
   
4. Swim for exercise at least once
5. Rock wall climbing
6. Go Bike Riding
   
7. Go Rollerblading
   
8. Get my passport
9. Get my CHL
10. Take a road trip to Colorado
11. Girls weekend in San Antonio
12. Visit the Texas Capital
13. Take a Photography Class 
14. Volunteer to fight cancer
15. Volunteer at Hope's door
16. Meditate by the Ocean
    
17. Paint my dresser
18. See Family and Friends in California
19. Take a mosaic class
    
20. Make a mini terrarium
21. Take a painting Class
22. Take a pottery Class
23. Take a jewelry making class
24. Go to a drive-in Movie theater
25. Go to an outdoor music event
    
26. Sell something on Etsy
27. Dance in the rain
28. Wear a bathing suit and get in a pool
29. Random Act of Kindness
30. Pay a stranger a compliment
31. Write a poem for my blog
32. Start contributing to my 401K again
    
33. See a nutritionist
34. Start Invisaline
35. Take a glass blowing class
    
36. Take a knitting class
37. Take a pottery class
38. Go Horseback Riding
39. See the Ballet
40. See the FW Synphony Orchestra
    
41. Go to a trampoline place and exercise
42. Indoor sky diving
43. See Corpus Cristy
44. Pay off my car repairs
    
45. Make my business profitable
46. Make stuff to sell out of empty wine bottles
    
47. Make bath oils and bath salts
48. Do yoga at home
49. Inspire someone
50. Write a love letter to myself
    
    
    

If anyone knows of places in the DFW area that will help me reach my goal please share!!I basically have to do one every other day.  

10 Reasons to have a Mary Kay Business

Why do I have a Mary Kay business?  I have tried selling just about everything out there and this is the FIRST product that is practically selling itself.  The company values align with mine and I have the most steady, least pushy National Director ever.  I have all the support I could ask for and she gives me the tools  I need and positive motivation.

My skin loves Mary Kay products!  It is easy to sell something I believe in!  Also the company believes in their products.  As a consultant, if I buy inventory and change my mind Mary Kay will buy back the inventory for 90% of what I paid.  I have NEVER had ANY company offer me that deal!!  That was the deciding point on top of the 50% profit, or half off product.
www.marykay.com/oneawesomebrenda

10 Reasons to start your Mary Kay Business TODAY!!

1. The products sell themselves!!

•  #1 in customer loyalty with Brand Keys Award
• Recognized with "Good Housekeeping Award"
• 100% Customer Guaranteed
• Try before you buy
• Made in the USA by Mary Kay, Inc.
• Consumable
• Recession Proof
• NOT Animal Tested
• High Quality Research

2. Earn Extra Money!!

• Classes/Parties
• Facials
• On-The-Go

3. Flexibility = No Quotas or Territories

4.  Low Starter Kit Cost

• $400 in full size product plus supplies for $100.
• Annual website fee $50 - Only $25 the first year.  No monthly Fee.

5.  Learning is easy!

• Mary Kay has a great training tools on-line and local meetings for training and support.
• Adopt a consultant program is amazing

6. Big benefits like no other!!

• You can move up as fast or slow as you want, but if you want it you can have it as a consultant.  Mary Kay does it right!
• 1-4 active team members and you get 4% monthly bonus check on top of your sales commission.
• 5-7 active team members and you get a 9% or 13% monthly bonus check on top of your sales
• Career Cars, including registration and insurance or a monthly cash option

7. Prizes, Awards and Recognition

8. Tax Benefits + No Risk Inventory

• 100% Customer Guarantee
• 90% buyback for consultants

9. The very best part...Mary Kay Ash

• In 1963, Mary Kay Ash began her company with a dream to help women.
• Golden Rule Management
• Unique business philosophy of God, Family, Career
• Positive environment and attitude

10.  Personal Growth - I have received all of these benefits in my first month.

• Self-confidence 
• Challenge and purpose
• Development of new skills
• Positive non-risk environment
• Encouragement
• Satisfaction from helping others (leading by example)
• New Friends
• Maintain and Improve Appearance (this is how I get appointments and sales)